BulletProofToast

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Catch 22

It has always seemed next to impossible for me to avoid the bullshit!
I have dealt with so many tough situations that I should have never been involved in.

So I stepped back and I have made a concerted effort to steer clear of bad situations and people with bad intentions. I have prided myself on my ability to keep my hands fairly clean for the last year.
And now this!

I do right, and someone is mad - I listen to the devil on my shoulder and someone else is mad.

This time I gave it thought, weighed the pros and cons and proudly chose right.

sigh

It would be nice if I could be commended instead of condemned for doing the right thing!

3 weeks

I only have 3 weeks left until me and the girls head to Jamaica. 

which means I have...

3 weeks to hit the gym and flatten my belly (after 3 weeks I will lose interest, so i waited until now to begin)

3 weeks to find some decent vacation wear ( so far I'm very disappointed) 

3 weeks to find 2 suitable bikinis

3 weeks left of being cold and bitter! :) 

introspect

I woke up before 6 am this morning, with a lot on my mind. 

For the first time in a while I decided to address the issues that have been affecting my friendships and relationships. 

The issues are blatant and a fix was long overdo. 

I have a lot of work a head of me and a lot of challenges to face. 

I'm excited for my future! 

Why I love my hairdresser!

1. His name is R.Kelly Clipperton (seriously)

2. He has a glam/swing/ska band called Kelly & The Girls

3. He's a total bitch! (in a kind of fabulous way) 

4. He called me and my sister "fucking lesbians" because we were at Shanghai Cowgirl at 12am sipping tea on a Saturday night. HA!

5. He only charges me $15

my two favorite people

Zoe K, looking kinda ghostly and Santi, looking all lady-like - love love love

Trouble!

Opening Ceremony has an online shop! 

I'm in trouble. 

www.openingceremony.us

A lovely day

Yesterday was a lovely day. 

Nothing spectacular happened  - no sudden downpour of riches - no prince charming rode up to my door... but I had a peaceful, blissful feeling all day.

The sun was warm and shining brightly - giving the first indication that Spring is just around the corner.

I went to the early morning yoga class and then had the best Belgian Waffles ever at Le Petit Dejeuner.  (with strawberries, creme fraiche & fresh mint)

I found the perfect shirt to wear with the Built By Wendy skirt that has been hanging in my closet for months - unworn. 

I roamed around town for a few hours - bought Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell and  finally decided to pick up The Foreign Exchange CD. 

I  was pleasantly surprised at how nice it is.  From beginning to end - smooth, bright, lovely.

I listened to it on repeat all afternoon. 

I made dinner and just relaxed - quietly. 

See! 

Nothing happened, but I was smiling all day. 

Mary-Kate Olsen in the new issue of Interview

love.

my fashionable flaw....

Last week Refinery 29 ran an article featuring photos of Lauren Hutton, Lara Stone, Georgia Jagger and Anna Paquin. All beautiful and all gap-toothed - like me. 

For years I have tried to figure out how to get rid of my gap teeth. I contemplated braces - but figured that spending months with a mouth full of metal would not be a good look, and I was concerned with the message that I would be conveying - that I am insecure about my otherwise straight pearly whites.  It wasn't until recently that I started to embrace my diastema.

And now that models like Lauren, Lara, and Danielle from ANTM (as well as icons like Madonna) have decided to embrace their "flaw", I have gotten over my fear of smiling! 

I'm so in! 

Sunday on repeat...

Black Maybe - Syreeta

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - Nina Simone

Les Fleurs - Minnie Riperton

Everywhere - Common & Martina Topley Bird

6 O'Clock Blues - Solange

Rowboat - Emily Haines

Twice - Little Dragon

Stork and Owl - TV On The Radio

it was just one of those days...

What It Really Is

Jennifer Rose Sciarrino

Supposed Stalactites (Purple and Green Pendants), 2008

Installation detail, paper, dimensions variable

Last week MyManHenri invited me to a Redbull Art Event opening here in Toronto.

The installations were thoughtful and detailed. The Supposed Stalactites (pic above) was the most eye-catching installation. Each piece of paper was carved to create a layer. It was quite impressive. (Not to diminish the work put into this brightly-colored creation but it kinda reminded me of a super-impressive stack of colored post-its.)

Anyhow, The night went on while I sipped wine and we chatted about our latest escapades and future endeavours (both thrilling and disappointing).

I tried to dodge a loud, sometimes irritating "friend" (and failed - UGH!) - got trapped in a useless conversation that just refused to end. (Until I pretended to "urgently" run to the ladies room - where i checked my hair and sent a few bbms before returning to the event area)

I met a few cute guys but quickly discovered that Henri is not the greatest wingman and that the introductions were as far as the conversations would go.

I roamed around for a while pausing at the installations - hoping to appear pensive and intrigued - but really scoping people out and inching back to the bar.

The evening dragged a bit and as I prepared to leave and say my goodbyes I met a girl who was obviously craving attention and was excited by saying obnoxious - offensive things like "black people are lazy!" and when I looked at her with annoyance she exclaimed "I'm super racist!"

Honestly, I'm not sure what kind of reaction she was hoping to get from me. So I nodded and walked away!

Lovely evening.

merci mon cherie Henri

would you like me to seduce you?

Chanel...

Chanel Iman (one of my favorite models right now) covers the upcoming issue of Page Six magazine where she discusses, among other things, the melanin deficiency that’s been plaguing the fashion world:

“It’s not just black girls. It’s ethnic girls in general: Brazilian girls, Hispanic. You really don’t see a lot of Asians either. A lot of designers think that if every girl on the runway looks exactly alike, then people will come to the shows and buy the clothes because they won’t be focusing on the models….It’s not even just runway either… us ethnic girls should be getting a lot of the covers too! I would love to be on half of the campaigns these [white] girls are booking, all looking exactly alike. It’s not right. It’s not fair.”

progress

exhale...

I still love you Zoe...

Busted wig and all!

Helen said....

My best friend's mom told me to

"Try something new. Stop meddling with those artsy boys - try something different, like a white boy."

ha.

So I did, and I have been. (not just with white boys - with all types of guys - basically anyone who doesn't fit my regular type)

So far I have been disappointed by 3 and disgusted by 2.

I'm 0 for 5.

Then I tried recycling a few - but that hit a wall pretty fast.

I even tried letting a co-worker set me up.

He was at strike 2  within a day.

So now what Helen?

My patience has worn thin... I no longer have time for slick lines and empty promises.

I'm tired of guys who use and abuse, play games and test, patronize and judge.....

I am tired of having to cut people off

I don't want your baggage

I'm over your lies

Done with your disrespect

WeFight/WeLove

You make it so hard to stay mad at you. 

1 on one 

sigh.

where'd they go?

frankincense and myrrh

2008 was one of the hardest years of my life. 

I dealt with more personal challenges last year than I have ever had to deal with in one year- some of which I have resolved  and a few that still linger (and need to stay in 2008). 

Last year began in chaos and drama. My personal life became public in a very harsh and violent way. And from that moment - everything seemed to follow suit. Every lesson I was supposed to learn was thrust at me in the worst way possible. 

And of course, what starts bad usually ends bad. 

The last few days of 2008 presented a new set of challenges that forced me to face the fact that things have to change. 

2009 came in silently. ( I was asleep by 11pm December 31, 2008) 

And I spent the following 3 days at home - alone.

I read, watched movies and tried my hardest to forget about the not-so-thrilling phone call that I got just before the new year. 

I have since remained quiet - not withdrawn or depressed, just - quiet -

Yesterday I chose to get out of the black hole that my social life has become, and I met up with the lovely Tricia for early breakfast at Le Petit Dejeuner. We talked about all the things that are "soooooo 2008" and how we will improve and progress as we move deeper into 2009. 

Our breakfast chat continued over to my place where we chatted and laughed about boys and music (as usual) until the sun disappeared.

Talking to Tricia was like a breath of fresh, unbiased, salt-free air. She reminded me that I'm not alone. That letting go of toxic relationships/friendships are necessary... and with a little strength and a little frankincense and myrrh - we can rid our lives of anything that doesn't belong. 

So 2009 - that is what will happen. I will correct the things that 2008 brought to light.

I will be stronger

I will stop fighting maturity

I will focus on myself for the first time

And when all else fails ... burn a little frankincense and myrrh